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Shining Armor

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Shining And Two

No matter what species there is, there's always one universal constant. Dads are the best.

Shining Armor is the spouse of Princess Cadence and thus a Prince.  He held the former position of Captain of the Canterot Royal Guard.  The guard has gained considerable skill since (read:  because of) his departure.  At one point a sad sack contemplating suicide, he has since built confidence by being beaten senseless by Applejack 42, a family by adopting Applejack 2, and a circle of friends by welcoming Chrysalis, Celestia, and other such royalty into his life.

His face holds rare earth magnets capable of attracting all vomit in a five mile radius.

Story[]

Thread 257[]

  1. [1] He calls out to Poindexter, still remembering the fight in the comic world from before the reset, but not letting it hold him back from his friend. Unfortunately, Poindexter doesn't remember who he is and, still in his villain persona, sincerely laments "Luminous Shield's" defeat/death. "I had thought my most vexing foe would hold on longer, but oh well!" Shining is dejected by this, but Poindexter tells him they should go hang out with "the others" and says they'll be excited to see him. Shining forces himself to look away from his friend to these "others" and, to his surprise, he sees many heroes and villains standing together as friends. As he looks over them all, many of them whose names he can't place, he notes that the single thing they have in common is that they all "died".
  2. Worriedly, he notes the newer faces: the ‘newer’ generations that had strived to take up the mantle or become the new big thing in their time, only to be forgotten in waves. Lost in thought, he hears someone call out to and congratulate him on his "first death scene". The person smacks him on the back, flooring him and dazing him momentarily. When he looks up at their smiling face, he mistakes them for Chitania and quickly gets angry before realizing Chitania wouldn't be smiling so happily and heroically. He recognizes the person as Titania, and takes note of the other Crushers (Smashtania, Crushtainia, Thuntania) standing by her. She jokes about his death being lame, with someone playfully chastizing her in response. Shining asks if they're all dead, causing everyone to laugh like it's all just playful light-heartedness, but Titania says they're not actually dead. They're just trapped "in a time space continuum distortion, locked in the single second that Chitania tried to fight back the warp of reality!" One of the other Crushers says she was very heroic, "She tried to stop the world changing with punches and gusto, ending in our, well, demise!"
  3. Continuing, Titania states they're stuck here while the bigwigs roll out the Titan-Warriors: "A whole bunch of robots. One of them is based on my brain, isn’t that cool?" She figures they'll be back in action when the world resets again and the Crushers are merged with the Titans to make: "Chitania’s Titans! It has an awesome ring to it, doesn’t it?" A part of him agreed, and that part filled him with shame. With a final congratulation and goodbye, the Crushers run off with childish glee that he can't be mad at despite who they look like. He hears two characters behind him talking about how boing this world is and when they'll come back. Briefly, he recalls that they were spinoff characters related to Zapp's stories, but pushes those thoughts away and runs to Poindexter. He tells the nerdy villain they need to get out of here, prompting him to assure Shining that they'll be rebooted shortly. Shining clarifies that they need to get out of this world, with Poindexter musing that a space adventure could be fun.
  4. Shining further clarifies that he means the entire world/universe in its entirety: "This is all a comic book world!" Poindexter rolls his eyes, "Really? Trying a new thing? That’s Whacko’s thing! Get your own!" Shining shakes him, saying he's not trying to be meta and that they need to get back to the real world, "Our world!" Poindexter slowly starts to remember who he is and when Shining gives a tearful plead decribing him as the helpful, nerdy friend he was, the realization is complete. Poindexter is surprised that he's talking to Shining Armor, making it known that he actually appears exactly as Luminous Shield to everyone else including himself: "Would be pretty weird if you just popped up looking like a celebrity, eh?" This apparently doesn't have an affect on Shining, since he can tell who Poindexter is perfectly. Moving past that, Shining declares that they and Mane-iac need to leave this world and mentions the fact that whatever trapped them here also suppressed Shining's memories of the two. "We have to get out of this, and I know we can if we work together!" Poindexter's response? "No thank you."
  5. [2] Shining Armor tries to convince Poindexter to leave the comic world, but Poindexter says he feels like he belongs there. Shining says he'll be totally forgotten, but that just relieves Poindexter, who's glad since that means no one will worry about him. Shining asks about his parents, his family, but Poindexter reveals that he's never really been close to them. Thinking on it, Shining can't recall his family ever being brought or showing up and, to his shame, he never thought to ask about them before. Desperate, Shining says they can help Poindexter in the real world. "Oh, really? You can help me live forever?" At a loss for argument, Shining contemplates the meaninglessness of death in this world and wonders if it truly is better that way.
  6. [3][OOCO] Applejack gathers up Celestia, Spike, and Shining Armor who are horrified, neutral, and excited. It turns out that AJ gathered them all to address the obesity epidemic caused by all the sugar everyone is eating and to try out her new idea. Celestia is incredulous, asking "A good way to do it is an exercise video!?" Spike is still meh about it, but Shining starts doing exercise routines. Applejack notes his excitement and Celestia lets slip it's because she "bred them to be dedicated to wanting boosts of testosterone". AJ does a double-take on that, but Celestia covers her slip up and says that he's just a silly pony. AJ seems to fall for it. Spike asks for some guns and says his workouts won't necessarily work for ponies. That's why AJ brought them, so there's different representation for the video. "Let’s pump some iron and bump some booties!" Spike asks if there will be actual booty bumping, and AJ puts it as a "maybe". Shining calls dibs on Celestia, who's happy to be dibbed, and Spike expresses faux-regret over not choosing his mother figure first. He "laments" that he'll have to partner with Applejack ("the bountiful beauty" as he puts it), but she calls for everyone to get to their corners, "Out of touching range!" She declares that they're going to get the country back in shape, topping it off with a "Who's with me?". Bulk Biceps certainly is, as sown by his loud catchphrase.

[Q] "Let’s do this mares and colts! Laps around the castle! Pushups! Pullups! Pullups with your teeth! Lets get on this!"

  1. [4][OOCO] He and Celestia address the other as "Sunbutt" and "Shieldbutt," apparently as a 'rigorous' method to make sure no changeling is pretending to be them. Moving past that, Shining says he has concerns to voice. Celestia says she has big ears to listen, with Shining saying they are big and cute. His concern turns out to be about training the future defenders of Equestria since they have a lot of work to do. The problem is that Celestia is (over) a thousand years old. She says she hasn't had much luck training the new generation, but Twilight is doing well. Shining asks about the back up. There is none, but Celestia sees things working out anyways.
  2. [5][OOCO] Twilight and him tell Applejack that "This is going to work out." Applejack is convinced it's not and when Twilight says that "it" is science, AJ calls it "being an idiot". Thinking AJ just doesn't understand, Twilight starts to explain how cannons work, but AJ points out that's not the problem and she's seen Pinkie Pie shoot hersef out of one so many times that she figured the mechanics out herself. She asks Twilight why she has to get shot out of the cannon if Shining's here making the shield she's getting fired into. Twilight says it's because AJ's durable, but AJ points out he's durable, too. Well, he could get her according to Twilight, and she wouldn't want that. AJ's a different story, though, and as the mare says she's reconsidering her offer to help, Twilight fires the cannon.
  3. [6][OOCO] Spike as Shining if he can be a Dragon Prince someday. "Sure", Shining says, and then he can do nothing and have nothing expected of him like other princes. Spike has no response, with Shining continuing by pointing at Blueblood as having "HORRIBLE" implications for how the world uses males. "Like, legit, he’s the first and last male royal born guy we’ve seen and it is just not a good sign." Spike points out that Rutherford the Yak is a Prince, but realizes he's not a good example either. "Maybe I can be the good one?" Shining wishes him good luck, "Godspeed, little dragon…"
  4. [7][OOCO] Spike and Shining go on about doing something "stallionly" to show how strong they are. They decide to dance.
  5. [8][OOCO] Spike and Shining Armor are at some sort of nerdy gathering. Shining is trying to keep his identity a secret, but Spike points out that no one cares that he does nerdy stuff and that him having a wife and kids means nerdy stereotypes don't apply to him. Shining says that's not the issue before someone recognizes him, drawing a bunch of fans to him. As Shining gets swarmed by the stampeding fans, Spike dryly quips "...long live the prince."
  6. [9][OOCO] Spike walks in on Celestia and Shining Armor doing something and starts to say "What the fu-" before Shining cuts him off with "LANGUAGE!" Spike points out he and Celestia say "fuck" all the time in front of him, but Celestia insists she says "Fawks". Spike asks who "Fawks" is, and she tells him Fawks was some "Crazy asshole who tried to blow some shit up and messed up hard enough to accomplish nothing" and "lots of people love him for some reason." Shining says Fawks "speaks to a younger me, somehow". Moving on, Spike finally asks if they're "going to explain why you're both covered in wine". Shining says no.
  7. [10][OOCO] Shining asks Chrysalis for a ninja since "Celly" has one and "you changelings are like ninety percent ninja", but she asks "Is Eleven not enough for you?" He's confused by this. "Eleven. Changeling Eleven, formally Applejack Eleven." He states he doesn't know who she's talking about, with her responding that he should since "she follows you everywhere." When he claims he's never seen Changeling Eleven, Chrysalis points out that that's because she's a ninja, duh. He calls her on her bluff, but she tells him to believe what he wants and leaves. As he sits alone, he nervously wonders if she's really telling the truth or not.
  8. [11][OOCO] Celestia takes Shining Armor to the Mareiana Trench: "the deepest, darkest area in all the world." She tries to pitch it as "the ultimate rush, the ultimate pressure, the ultimate low that brings the ultimate high!" But Shining deflates her mood by saying Applejack will find her anyways.
  9. [12][OOCO] Shining complains about the situation he's in being unfair. Cadence thinks it's hilarious, but Changeling 42 wonders why a feather is so funny. Cadence says it's funny because Shining's sensitive to feathers for some reason and starts tickling him. 42 wonders if it's because the feather comes from Cadence, a thought Cadence says is romantic and regrets not having come up with herself. In response, 42 erases her own mind so she can take credit for it, but Cadence gets upset and tells her not to do that just so she can take credit for things.
  10. [13][OOCO] Much to Shining Armor's dismay, Chrysalis starts musing about how changelings can "do a lot of funky things with minds" that she never went into. For example, she could implant false memories to make a pony think she's their mother or switch her and Celestia in said pony's memories "so they’d love and obey me as much as her!" Before she can bring up another example, Changeling 18 shows up and *ZOTZ* her, erasing her train of thought. Instead, she talks about how sexy Shining is before wondering what she was doing. Shining thanks Eighteen and she says she'll one day stop Chrysalis from being attracted to him. Chrysalis declares that'll never happen, saying she'll "fuck this horse someday", before asking them why she's here. The three share a laugh, but Chrysalis really wants to know what she was doing.
  11. [14][OOCO] "I could have gone my whole life without seeing you in a thong." In response, Shining Armor calls Spike a hypocrite since he's wearing a thong, too. Spike then points out that people can see Shining's junk, but not his since it's internal. Moving on, Shining says they can't both be Boarat, but Spike wins out since his accent is better. Shining goes to change and comes back wearing a silver speedo, saying he's now the "Quizabbamdanackadcack" from the movie Knoll.
  12. [15][OOCO] Spike wonders what he would be like if Celestia and/or Shining Armor raised him instead of Twilight. They think they'd be great parents. Spike isn't so sure.
  13. [16][OOCO] Shining Armor tries to get Flurry Heart to say 'Daddy' but she keeps saying 'Doodoo'. He asks Two for help to show her how it's done, but she just calls him 'Shiny'. He soon accepts that Flurry's doing it on purpose.

Thread 261[]

  1. Shining Armor's a little disappointed the Crystal Empire didn't fall apart without him. Cadence empathizes with him liking being needed.
  2. But he's glad to be back and can't imagine anyone else knowing what it's like to be taken out of reality for so long. Until Sombra reminds him.
  3. Shining Armor's a little disappointed that the Crystal Guard were also in order even with him gone. Changeling 42 tries to remedy this by telling a guard he's out of lockstep and needs to move left... all the way out into the street.
  4. Shining Armor asks Tiempo about the time he spent with Two and Flurry Heart. Tiempo mentions that a bunch of guards were always with the three of them, which makes Shining feel better. When Shining asks if the girls missed him/were ok, Tiempo says Two was less cheerful and that he should talk to her later out of respect for her privacy. But when the subject moves to Flurry Heart, she appears and zaps both of them.
  5. Two says she has a lot to show Shining Armor and warns him not to play Super Mareo Bros with Flurry. She apparently gets competitive and Two doesn’t want to have to fight her in a destroyed castle. One vision of the very distant future later- Flurry gleefully fights her in a destroyed malley factory instead.
  6. Chrysalis messes up Shining Armor’s papers again.
  7. Shining Armor tries to get Flurry Heart to call him Daddy since she seems capable of at least trying to say “Chrysalis” (Cwibawish). He at first thinks she might be calling him “Boobah”, but thinks that maybe she doesn’t really know what she’s saying since she’s a baby.
  8. Cadence appears to claim the name “Boobah” for herself, claiming she gets first dibs since Flurry came out of her “pink pony princess parts”. Shining Armor tries to say something, but Cadence tells Flurry to zap him. Flurry refuses, but not out of love for SA as Cadence believes. Just because she doesn’t want to follow her order.
  9. Now that Poindexter is back, Shining Armor tells him they can do the “thing” again.
  10. Shining Armor asks Chrysalis to tell Flurry Heart she’s not her mother. She tells her she’s “Not Mom”, but Flurry just calls her “Cwibawish”. SA thinks Flurry doesn’t understand the command, but Chrysalis thinks she’s smarter than he believes.
  11. Shining Armor asks Tiempo figured out how to make Flurry like them more. His answer? “Pain.”
  12. Shining Armor asks Chrysalis and Cadence if any major acts of violence/conflict happened while he was gone. They say no, but point out that he doesn’t have an actual effect as far as whether threats occur despite what he may be thinking. Besides, even if he might be at fault, they need a male figure to look after Flurry Heart. However, when Sunburst reports for babysitting duty, they realize he can just fill that role. So…
  13. After he asks what she’s been up to, Two tells Shining Armor that “love-moons” feel nice, prompting him to ask if that fake moon Cadence made is still above the Empire. She tells him that Cadence probably isn’t going to take it down. Or doesn’t know how. He hopes it’ll at least make a nice tourist attraction.
  14. Shining Armor asks Cadence if she’s mad about the money he loaned Pinkie Pie. But as long as Pinkie’s not paying for it with her body, Cadence is fine with it.
  15. Chrysalis proudly tells Shining Armor that she didn’t try to take over the world while he was gone. Two sings her praises for not doing anything naughty or breaking stuff. When asked by Shining if she has a song for everything, Two says just for things that make her happy.
  16. Shining Armor has some questions about the battleskirts. Cadence points out their benefits, but he’s not exactly sold on them. He’s especially not in favor of modifying his armor to be in line with their design.
  17. Shining Armor asks Spitfire and Changeling 18 if they’re closer now. They confirm they are and that it took a super big thing to do. He wants them to recreate it.
  18. Diamond Tiara places her rocket launcher between her legs, claiming that she’s riding him. Spike is not ok with this and asks who would be. Apparently, Shining Armor is because he appears out of nowhere and says “All pinks are beautiful!” before leaving.
  19. Cadence and Shining Armor discover Dandelion Coffee. They ask Chrysalis to drink it, which leads to her speaking ‘Fancy’.
  20. Shining Armor is a little concerned that Flurry Heart might be sick since she’s firing blasts off without any point. He asks Cadence if they’re being a little negligent before wondering if Flurry’s diaper has been changed. Cadence panics for a moment before Tiempo reveals he changed her diaper, which she thinks is neat.
  21. Cadence asks Sunburst to look after Two and Flurry Heart while she has a talk with Shining Armor. Two freaks out and begs her not to take him away, but she and Shining Armor calm her down by promising he won’t be gone long. She threatens to sic Flurry Heart on Shining if he breaks his promise, but he tells her not to, saying that Two being sad is all the motivation he needs to keep his promise. After that, Cadence leads Shining away, with Chrysalis, Spitfire, Changeling 18 and Changeling 42 following close by. Two watches sadly, but Sunburst distracts her and Flurry Heart with an ice cream offering.
  22. Shining Armor asks Cadence what she, Chrysalis, Spitfire, Changeling 18 and Changeling 42 wanted to talk to him about. Cadence starts off by telling him how they bonded during the time they couldn’t remember him, saying that they all wanted to know where things were going between themselves and that they were a little scared (her especially). But she realized they can’t keep stagnating and, with a smile, admits that it’s ironic how they all understood love more than she did and that it’s time to take things further. With that said, she reaches out and holds his hoof before declaring that they should all get married. Shining gladly accepts.
  23. Chrysalis, Cadence, Spitfire, Changeling 42, and 18 are celebrating the fact that they’re all getting married since Shining Armor accepted the proposal. However, he tells them they absolutely cannot tell anyone until Twilight comes out of her lab. The girls are confused, except Chrysalis, which prompts Shining to explain that he didn’t tell Twilight about his first wedding until the day before it happened because of reasons he’s long since gotten over. Chrysalis shuffles her feet at this statement, but he continues by saying Twilight’s never forgiven him for this and sends him notes every anniversary., so he wants to tell her first. Cadence agrees, to the disappointment of the other mares, and Chrysalis quickly follows her lead. With that, any dissent disappears and they all get excited over the fact that “it’s finally happening”. Until Sombra appears and asks what “it” is, which prompts them all to clam up. A little irked, he leaves and they go back to being giddy.

Relationships[]

Cadence:[]

His wife and enternal love of his life, he remains totally devoted to her despite some unintended neglectful tendancies on her part. She's not always the most attentive, or the most helpful in running the Empire, but he has enough love in his heart for her to overpower Celestia herself, and that will likely never change.

Twilight:[]

His Little Sister Best Friend Forever through and through. She was firecely protective of him during his more neglected days, and he returns the feeling in kind. He'd do anything for his little sister, even if she is driving him crazy.

Celestia:[]

Back in his guard days, the pair were the very best of friends, sharing little notes of encouragment and always being there for each other when they were down. But with the seperation caused by his moving to the Crystal Empire, coupled with the immense stress and neglect they were both feeling, a rift formed between them. Their relationship became almost hostile, with his side bitter that she would not allow him to become an Alicorn and finding enjoyment in his pain, and her side hurt that he would cut off their once strong friendship and try to use their relationship like that while showing up her own Kingdom with his rising star of an Empire. For a while, they were nearly enemies. Since then, they've come to understand one another once again, and are back to being the closest of friends. She often joins with him and Chrysalis in some hairbrained scheme to blow off stress, to his reluctanct acceptance.

Applejack 2:[]

When she stumbled into his life, she was simply a changeling on a mission to find a wayward soldier. But through a strange twist of fate, she came to enjoy his company, and wanted to spend more time with him. Desperate for attention, he relented. Slowly, he chipped away at the false persona she had thrown up around herself in order to survive being in the more rambunctious and hostile Hive, and underneath discovered a wide eyed innocent who needed someone to look out for her. That someone, he decided, was himself. Soon, she had joined his family as his newly adopted daughter, and the pair have never been happier. At least until she has to go back to Kindergarten, in which case he needs a minute to stop crying.

AJ 18[]

She had been sent over to his home with one goal, seduce him to gain enough love to strike back against Canterlot. Needless to say, as devoted as he was to Cadence, this was never going to work. Still, on a whim one day she decided to help with the paperwork, and since then he has gained an invaluble ally in the never ending tide of insanity that is his out of date and insane Empire. He might not want her in the way she wants, but he'd never trade her for the world.

AJ 42[]

The solider that made his life hell for a while. Between her destruction of his most treasured possessions, her constant humiliation of him every time he tried to challenge her to a fight, and her not so hidden desire to help her Queen conqure hsi Empire, the pair hated each other as much as could be. But with a simple show of faith on Shining Armor's part, their feelings snowballed out of control. Now, they are trusted friends who has the other's back no matter what dangers may come, be they robot armies or giant balls of marshmallow, and she has risen to unofficially be the head of his army. Does he know about her deep crush on him? Surely not! She hides it so well.

Applejack[]

Likely the sole reason he decided to finally kick it into gear and start leading his Empire, her more hostile and seemingly petty nature hid a desire for him to see that he was neglecting his duties, and that was not going to fly with her. While calling them best friends would be a stretch, the two are likley the most sane of their respective lands, and can always count on the other to help out when things go down.

Queen Chrysalis[]

Their relationship is, to put it mildly, an odd one. At the start, she was every bit as uncaring, if not outright spiteful, towards him. She had no love in her heart for that stallion, and she was more than happy to make this known as she cheered on 42 while the Changeling beat him over and over. But in a random act of desperation to keep Equestria ahead of the Crystal Empire economically, Celestia asked the Queen to head down to the crystal land and, essentially, annoy him. Having nothing better to do, she accepted. She messed up his paperwork, she made it hard for him to sleep, she did everything in her power to make his life a pain. But it didn't quite end there. Event after event, story after story, the two gradually began to understand one another. The horrible monster Shining Armor thought he knew surprised him in ways he never expected, and now, the two could easily be called friends. Likewise, what Chrysalis was sure she knew about him was broken away, and now she is none-too-subtle about her desire to relive those wild nights from before the wedding. He is the only one she has ever come to trust, and he does his very best to earn that trust, even if it means denying his sister all of the weird, but useless, Changeling powers she so loves to tell him. They've faced a lot of problems together, from a robot invasion to a giant Changeling Queen, and it's not looking like they're going to come to a close anytime soon. Truthfully, they wouldn't have it any other way.

Trivia[]

  • Hey, want to hear his experiences and relationships summed up in rap form? Guess what? We've got that covered! http://pastebin.com/mKtDFfNy
  • One of the first running gags was that Shining Armor would use a plushie with red hair to fool his wife. She never noticed until she had a 'who do I shoot!?' moment. Fortunately, she picked the right one.
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